Categories
Law Students and Young Lawyers

A Cheery AI Goodbye to Your Law Firm

Here is a version of a departure announcement that a lawyer recently posted on LinkedIn, which I have rewritten slightly to recast it as if he were getting divorced:

“After three years of growth, learning and development with my excellent wife, today I close out an important and rewarding chapter in my life.

I am truly grateful for the opportunities I have had and experience I have gained with my wife and her family, who have helped make this portion of my journey so impactful. I leave this marriage a better person than when I met my wife, and that is solely a result of her and her fantastic family and friends who I had the pleasure to interact with over my time in this wonderful marriage.

While it is never easy to say goodbye to an amazing family, I am excited for my next chapter and the challenges that lie ahead.

I eagerly look forward to announcing my next domestic adventure shortly. Stay tuned.”

If the departing lawyer is sincere, I am hard-pressed to imagine for what possible reason he might be leaving his firm.

Or maybe “he doth protest too much,” and his experience was not as awe-inspiring as he has tried to convey.

And what is with the “cliffhanger” that hints at a great future but never says what the person is going to be doing next?

It might be that the delighted departing lawyer has no idea where he is going, in which case he was either fired or so miserable or underpaid that he quit. That would make his whole announcement disingenuous.

More likely, he has a much better situation waiting for him, but he did not want to include that in the divorce announcement, because it would make his cheery goodbye look insincere.

I understand that well-brought-up young lawyers might believe “that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But these happy-go-lucky lawyers are skipping merrily out of their firms saying wonderful things, so there must be more to it. Perhaps it has to do with not burning bridges.

Personally, I think that it is yet another example of people following the current flavour of the month spit out by AI. To test that theory, I asked ChatGPT to draft a departure notice for a third-year lawyer. It read much like this lawyer’s announcement, and included the following:

“After three incredible years at [law firm name], it’s time for my next chapter.

Reflecting on my time here, I am deeply grateful for the opportunities, challenges and growth I’ve experienced. Over the past three years, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside exceptionally talented colleagues, tackling complex legal matters and advocating for wonderful clients.

A huge thank you to my mentors, partners and team members who guided, challenged and supported me along the way. The lessons learned and relationships built here will undoubtedly shape the rest of my career.

Stay tuned for updates on what’s next!”

Am I the only one who is not buying this bunch of malarkey?

This article was originally published by Law360 Canada, part of LexisNexis Canada Inc

Categories
Retirement

The Emperor Has No Clothes – Improving the Model for Partner Exits

I co-wrote this article with Charlotte Neser for Law UK. You can find it here: https://www.law-uk.com/comment/the-emperor-has-no-clothes-improving-the-model-for-partner-exits

Categories
The Practice of Law

The Principle of Equal Theft

I used to advise clients who were involved in shareholder disputes. I would always ask whether the shareholders had been less than angelic in their dealings with each other and the tax department. Although businesspeople tend not to judge people who only steal from the tax department to be all that bad, for the sake of simplicity I will refer to both shareholders who steal from each other, and shareholders who steal from the tax department, as crooks.

Categories
Law Firm Management

Free Agents in the Law Firm

The other day I wrote about a financial planner who is doing his small part to improve the lives of the financially oppressed by helping lawyers who, despite making seven figures, are still somehow struggling to get by.

Categories
Fluff

Tom Boringperson – A Study in Honest Law Firm Profiles

[This article was not written by Murray Gottheil. It was written by a law firm associate somewhere in a Commonwealth country who would like to become a partner in a law firm, and so has decided that it would not be a good idea to publish it under his own name.]

Categories
Retirement

Poor Little Rich Lawyer

There is a financial consultant who posts on LinkedIn, presumably to let people know what he does and how he can help. He apparently specializes in developing wealth strategies for lawyers. I enjoy reading his posts. They are succinct, well-written, and tell interesting stories about lawyers who earn a great deal of money but require help organizing their financial affairs to ensure that they can one day enjoy their retirement.

Categories
Legal Fees

A Minute About Minutes and Professional Ethics

I was doing annual minutes for my teeny tiny corporation today, and I got to thinking:

  1. As a corporate lawyer for forty years, I was responsible for many thousands of sets of annual minutes being prepared, at a few hundred dollars a pop.
  2. As a retired owner of a small corporation, I don’t know how excited I would be about paying a lawyer or law clerk a few hundred dollars for doing my annual minutes.
Categories
Legal Fees

It is Your Own Fault if You Do Not Get Paid

I sometimes speak to young lawyers who are being burned on their accounts receivable. I gently explain to them that it is their own damn fault, and they should do better.

Categories
Mental Health and Work/Life Balance

I may be right, you may be crazy: Vacationing from the law firm

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means” ~ from the movie The Princess Bride.

In a recent post on LinkedIn, the author explained that she checks her work email every day while on vacation, and that doing so allows her to relax.

Others chimed in to say they take a similar approach. One person said, “I can’t imagine a total disconnect ever…”

Categories
Client Development

Nickle and Diming Our Clients

Clients do not like being nickeled and dimed. They can get their heads around paying $750 an hour, but charging them for photocopies annoys them.