Prior to retiring from the practice of law, I lived in big cities for my entire life. Upon retirement I moved to the country. Due to Covid and people learning that they can work from home, moving to the country is now something that many people are doing.
In any event, there are a lot of new things to learn when you move to the country. One of the first things that you must learn is that it is important to differentiate yourself from the Citiots.
To help you do that, I have compiled a list of ways to tell if you are a Citiot.
You may be a Citiot if:
1. You do not know what a Citiot is. (If you are puzzled, think “City” and “Idiot”).
2. You call the Town to ask when garbage pick-up is. (Hint: The answer is ‘never’).
3. You phone the pizza place in town to order a pizza and ask for it to be delivered to your house.
4. You think that you can buy decent sushi without driving at least 40 minutes.
5. You think that you can buy decent sushi even if you do drive 40 minutes.
6. You call any type of service provider during hunting season and expect a call back within a few days.
7. You call any type of service provider when it is not hunting season and expect a call back within a few days.
8. You are surprised to see that the local plumber’s slogan is “We answer the phone” and that answering the phone is a major selling point.
9. The power goes off and you are surprised to find out that you have no water.
10. You have not bought a back-up generator.
11. You buy your firewood at the grocery store.
12. You don’t stop to speak to your neighbours when you are out for a walk.
13. You don’t wave at your neighbours when they drive by you (whether or not you know them).
14. You think that the restaurants that you go to during the summer will be open during the winter.
15. You have no idea that you need to have an arborist figure out which trees are at risk for falling on your house.
16. You don’t know that it costs a lot of money to replace your well pump when your well is 440 feet deep.
17. You like to feed the wildlife near your house.
18. You do not know that porcupines climb trees.
19. You ask where the nearest gym is and are surprised to find out that you must drive 40 minutes to get to it.
20. You have not seen stars in the sky at night for many years.
21. At least one of your vehicles is not a pick-up truck.
22. You would be surprised to find out that people who live in the country feel sorry for people who have to live in the city.