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The Mentality and Attitudes of Lawyers

Translations From Lawyer Talk – Part Two

As a continuation of my public service, I offer the following additional translations from Lawyer Talk to Plain English:

Lawyer TalkPlain English
  
Call me anytime that you have an issue, and I will direct it to the best person at the firm.Always call me instead of one of my partners, so I can be sure that I continue to get the originating credits for your account.
Your case is very interesting.Your case will be very expensive.
I estimate that the fee will be between $5,000.00 and $7,000.The fee will be at least $7,000.
You need a corporate reorganization.My kids need braces.
I would like to introduce you to my associate who is going to be helping me on the file.I would like to introduce you to my associate who is going to do all of the work on this.
It is our firm policy that we obtain a deposit from all new clients.I don’t trust you.
John is our expert on leasing.John is the only leasing lawyer that we have.
Murray handles our business succession matters.Murray is old and his clients are old.
Call me anytime that you have an issue, and I will direct it to the best person at the firm.Always call me first so I can docket some time before I turn it over to the person who will actually do the work.
We delegate the work down to the least expensive resource.We give the boring stuff to the juniors.
At our firm, we believe in work life balance.We think that our lawyers’ spouses should spend more time with the kids.
At our firm we offer mentoring by senior lawyers.We will assign someone to be sure that you are docketing all of your time.
We encourage our associates to participate in business development.You can write articles for publication under the name of a partner. If you are lucky, we will state in the small print that you ‘assisted in the research.’
We hire back almost all of our articling students.We make them play the Hunger Games for three years and then fire most of them to make room for new ones.
As of Friday, Jack is no longer employed by the firm. We thank him for his contribution to the firm and wish him well in his future endeavours.We fired Jack. Within a few hours, the partners will have leaked their version of the story to the associates. The staff should know the details by Monday.

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