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The Mentality and Attitudes of Lawyers

Translations From Lawyer Talk

As a public service, I offer the following translations from Lawyer Talk to Plain English:

Lawyer TalkPlain English
  
I will try to get it to you by Friday.If you are lucky, you will have it at 11:59 pm on Friday night.
I will need to do a bit of research to confirm a few of the finer points.I have absolutely no idea what the answer is. Hopefully one of the students will figure it out.
It will be much more cost-effective for you if I have my associate do the first draft.I have no time for this.
Let me do all of the talking in the meetingIf you open your mouth, you are going to screw the whole thing up.
We will keep your personal lawyer in the loop on this and carefully consider her input.She will never hear from us.
I know that you liked working with James last time, but I really think that Maria is the better person on this one.James is an idiot.  His days here are numbered.
I am not sure whether your accountant has the expertise required to work on this.I want to refer you to someone who sends me business.
I have a call into opposing counsel but haven’t heard back yet.I left him a voicemail 5 minutes ago when I got your email following up.
There was a small technical glitch in the filing.I completely screwed up, but don’t worry it is fixable and I won’t bill you for fixing it.
I know that you liked working with Maria, but I really think that Samir is the best person for this one.It turns out that Maria was also an idiot.
Perhaps we are not the best law firm for you.You are the client from hell.  Please get out!

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